Tag Archive: other

Habitual Nature

Acting is the most personal of our crafts. The make-up of a human being – his physical, mental and emotional habits – influence his acting to a much greater extent than commonly recognized.
Lee Strasberg
So I was sitting in my Spanish class today thinking about human habits. Now, it’s not an odd thing for me to be avoiding actually listening to the Spanish lecture to opt for a more fun thought wave. But that’s not necessarily why I was thinking of this then. You’d have to see the way we sit to understand this.

I’m not sure how other Spanish classes are set up, but for mine, there are about seven rows of three pushed up against one wall, and seven rows of three pushed up against the opposite wall, facing each other. We were allowed to choose where we sit.

In my first semester this year we were segregated straight down the middle, boys by the window wall, girls by the door. But even within these sections there were splits by how they set themselves up, based more on personality and friends. Now, in my second semester, our class was split in a more complex way, which was made abundantly clear on valentines day. My side? nothing. Not one valentine. The other? Tons.

So yes, basically we split by popularity. Our side made light of this by labeling ourselves the ‘forever alone’ side. Coincidentally, most of us have tumblrs, and though we might not hang out in our day to day life, during that one period of the day, we are a united, fully functions nerd herd.

I love the people in my Spanish class. Even the other side is amusing. One half is the guys, which are mostly made of the the trouble makers, but the funny ones, and the other half consists of the preppy girls. There is no end to the stories I could tell you from that class alone, but that is a story for another post.

In my English class, the room is structured similarly, and we sat ourselves in an order of my group, the quiet girls, the preps, the loudmouths, and then onto the trouble makers. Group discussions are pretty one-sided. Pun intended.

At lunch, we all find ourselves sprinkled amongst the school. My group either eats on the hillside outside, when it’s nice, or on the floor by the heater near the office when it’s not. The same outside groups always sitting around us in their usual places.

During assemblies, you see this pattern setting in as to where we always sit. Based, again, on groups. Now, I should mention that our school isn’t radically divided. But we still have our normal groups, that appear in all school settings.

My point is guys, that when left up to our own devices, we will choose to turn to the familiar, the comfortable. And why wouldn’t we? It’s so ingrained in us that that’s we’re we belong that it is downright scary to go against that.

And it isn’t just in school settings that I see this. It’s everywhere. From buses, parks, and pools, to my job, and coffee shops and even grocery stores. We interact with those who seem the closest to what we have always known.

I have trouble with this at my church especially. It’s a college church, and I attend with my sister. She knows people there, has friends in the congregation, while I… do not. I find myself constantly blending into the background, keeping my trap shut and hovering near my sisters group. I am not my sister, by any means. Her group is not like my own. I almost constantly keep up this feeling of being an outsider. So uncomfortable. Nothing changes when I do this, the uncomfortableness has just become a thing of normalcy.

The question I’d like to pose to ya’ll is how are we ever supposed to experience anything new if we never break from our self determined packs and habits? Sure we have fun together, but how often is that fun really that great? I know my group has become so comfortable with one another that we’ve run out of things to talk about. Lunch periods are rather boring sometimes. But we keep coming back because that’s what we’re used to.

Haven’t the greatest memories, that are story worthy been from those times that we were hurled into the unknown? Curiosity and wonder are natural, and good, but so often we suppress these for familiarity’s sake. Life is not about security. We should be taking chances, changing things up, making mistakes. Nothing would ever be accomplished, no new inventions would be notable if someone hadn’t have stepped out of their personal comfort zone to chase the uncertain path of their thoughts and ideas.

So I pose a challenge to you readers. Try to do at least one uncomfortable thing this week. Whether it be talking to a stranger, sitting in a new area, or simply trying a new restaurant, activity, or outfit style. What ever you want, just go out of the way to reject the ordinary. You may be surprised by the results.

Through my Eyes

That’s all for now. So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)



The Return of the Blogger

“Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”
((((((First off and for most I would like to make an announcement that I have my first subscriber! *Insert fan-girl squeals and hopping up and down here* You know who you are and thank-you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…..(Three hours later)…ooooooooooooooo much! (take big gasp of breath) Now back to you normally scheduled programming.))))))
Hello again blog. Long time no see (or write). I have come to the conclusion that my mind is total mush. All ability to think those analytical type of thought has flown out the window with the sixty + miles-per-hour wind that has recently flooded my home city/town/place. Which I suppose, for the purpose of Spring Break, is fine…. But I start back at school tomorrow and am not sure how well all this is actually going to work out. So here’s to giving my friends a little enjoyment at watching my unthinkingness (It’s a word now :p)
Spring break. The phrase brings about a yearning picture of sun, beaches, swimming, ect. One of many breaks that the school children find themselves unconsciously counting down the days for; spring fever runs amuck attacking every soul who dares to hope for a small relief of their ordinary school-week schedule. And though no matter how much we over think the wondrous, dare I say magical, possibilities of this week, we are almost always let down. Now as I find myself curled up in this stupidly broken recliner, tapping out my thoughts onto this keyboard, and glowering out of my large living-room window at the two inches of fresh snow that have recently drifted down from the heavens, I have that terrible sinking feeling that there will be many more breaks just like this one. And I have forced myself once again to vow never to string such high expectations on a silly little week again… I will fail at this though. I, as most of us do, know the great pleasure that comes from “Planning” out how my mini-vacation will come about. Saying this I have no doubt that come next break my imagination’s hand crank will begin to turn on autopilot as the mystical opportunities stretch before its eyes with child-like wonder.
Now if you have ever read one of my other posts, you would know that the quotes up top generally set off the tone of the entire ‘article’. Well what I was referring to my amazingly super-unstoppable *~*“Writer’s Block”*~* (Insert chilling music here: dun dun dun dun…..) *audience gasp, filled with fear for their own creative outlet* My ode to this retarded road bump began early last Saturday and has not failed to hold steady until…. Today. *Sighs* a whole week wasted. Or so I thought. But in retrospect I can see how helpful this little nuisance was, for in my ingenious attempts to thwart *~*his*~* dastardly leachyness (Again my word: I don’t care about grammar at the moment) I did many a thing that would not have been possible had I been chained to my laptop all week. I cooked, cleaned, did a LOT of yoga, walked/ran on my treadmill, played with my dog, hopelessly stalked the Nano forums (both YWP{Young writers program} and regular), read, watched movies, discovered how to fix green tea that that it doesn’t taste like an herb filled water (Just add milk) listened to endless amounts of music, created a family tree for my MC(Main Character) in my Nano Novel, and gave my *~*Story Dreamer*~* much to think about. So all and all my week was… okay.
One thing that I have learned from all of this is what should be a written rule somewhere Thou shall not cook whilst thy mind is mush.(Unless of course it’s three A.M) It’s a good general rule to live by.(Switch to third person)
At first she started simple, warm up some leftovers she thought to herself. Easy enough for any fool… or at least that’s what she tried to convince herself. The sad truth was that poor Rose was not just any fool. When attempting to remove the bowl of food from the microwave, she found herself ‘forgetting’ that the dish would be hot causing her to reach in, grab it and promptly drop it to the floor. This action sent her into a spiraling furry of a race to trap her and her brother’s dogs into the master bedroom in hopes of stopping their quest to eat and get the porcelain stuck into every cranny of their paws. At the same time she went into robotic motions as she scooped, swept, and mopped the floor surrounding the crime scene, all before the pups had opportunity to go ‘potty’ all over the nice hardwood floors. Rose succeeded, but just barely; and after this ordeal she surrendered to the skipping of that meal.
The next day at the strike of noon (or shortly thereafter) Rose found herself looking at another strikingly simple task; cook canned chili. After opening the can and dumping the contents into a small metal pan over a medium-high stovetop heat, the beautiful hypnotizing procrastination powers of The YWP Nano forums sucked her in, erasing every thought of watching and stirring the cooking goop…. That is until she smelt the putrid aroma of burned chili smoke and caked on charcoaled chili. Rose was forced to start over. Following shortly after came the idea to make boxed brownies for her sister and parents who had taken advantage of the break to go gallivanting to who knows where in the country while she stayed at home taking care of the house and dog. After they were ready and cooled, Rose covered the pan with foil and place it in the microwave for ‘safe keeping.’ Promptly after this, her brother (who had recently moved back into some house around the Rose’s town) with his radar for baked-goods came stomping into her house. He slammed open the microwave door and continued to devour the entire 9 x 9 pan within the hour and without any further thought of who they were truly meant for.
Later that night (Or technically the next morning for it was near two A.m) due to her usual insomniatic habits, Rose decided to put in one last desperate attempt to cook her family (Not her bro) a welcome home gifts. By four in the morning the Magic Cookie Bars were prepared, cooked, cooled, and covered and Rose found herself warmly wrapped in the blankets of her bed.
The next morning Rose brings the 13×9 pan of Marshmallow-coconut-semi-sweet-and-white-chocolate-grahamcrackery-goodness to her room, placing it on her bed (the only available spot to put it) and shutting the door ‘securely’ behind her. Little did she know (remember) her door was unable to latch properly. Her dog on the other hand did, and he scratched it open and consumed the entire pan. (end of third person story) As you can tell, I wasn’t having much luck with the kitchen.
The above symbols appeared in the text referring to my personification of my Inner Editor, Spell checker, Story Dreamer, and Writer’s block.
• My Inner Editor is a guy named Tom. He has chocolate brown medium length (for a guy) hair, always wears a black suit, white dress suit red tie and really shiny black suit, has jade green eyes, wears black Clark Kent style glasses, is twenty seven and always has coffee in a white china mug. Sometimes he gets really annoying, but I love and couldn’t live without his help.
• My Story Dreamer is amazing. She has shiny pitch black straight hair that has rainbow tips, bangs and is shoulder length. She is short to the extreme, loves wearing all kinds of wacky clothes, especially dresses, always has on these shiny bright red heals, always has on a crescent moon shaped pendent necklace, and is completely covered in glitter. Oh, and her eyes are rainbow too.
• My Spell Checker is a slacker, and has not appeared for five years. I think he’s lost, gone completely MIA , and I can’t seem to remember what he looks like.
• My Writers block is an evil dark greenish-black tar-like creature that leaches on to my head and scrambles my brain, making it nearly impossible to write a word.
And that’s all for now. So until the next post Keep On Dreaming &*)

The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.  ~James Bryce


I love reading; I’m sure that by now all you who have read my posts have figured that out. Today, somewhere between un-decorating my home, baking for the New-years, cleaning and packing up all of our Christmas ornaments (Notable only if you have ever tried to squeeze seventy-odd boxed Hallmark ornaments into on small plastic tote, without breaking them, you would now how utterly annoying and aggravating that process can be; I had to take all of them out at least three times,) I still managed to find the time to read. I finished two books today. And no not out of the five mentioned on a couple of posts ago; I did manage to get another trip to the bookstore, though I was utterly unsuccessfully in my attempts at weaseling a stop at Bath and body works too L.  But oh well, I did get five more books.

1.        Chasing Brooklyn by Lisa Schroeder (Hardback; read today)

2.       13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson (Hardback)

3.       Saving Grace by Katherine Spencer (Hardback; read today)

4.       Rebel Angels by Libba Bray (Paperback)

5.       The White Darkness by Geraldine McCaughrean (Hardback)

I swear, you don’t pick the books, they pick you.  Have you ever read a book where, once you finish it, you realize that within its pages was the answer to your latest problem? Maybe it’s the state of mind that you are in when you go to look for reading material, or maybe it’s just fate, whatever it is, some things are being made increasingly clear today as we draw closer to the hour of our new year, it is time for a revolution.

A few weeks ago, I began thinking of everything that I needed to accomplish in the year to come. I thought of a list of about fifteen and jotted each one on a separate sticky note before adhering them onto the wall above my bed, thinking that I could take each one down as I got the tasks accomplished. The next day after I had come home from school, all of them had fallen down (okay, so maybe they could improve the stickiness of those things just a tad) except for one; Have Fun.  Now me, being ticked off at my foiled plan, didn’t really bother to think about this, but after I had read those books, I was reminded of the note.

It’s funny how the one plan that stuck was also the most cliché. But none the less, it’s true. Looking back on this last year, I have never quite grasped that concept. I’ve pushed, planned, attempted to do new things, set now failed goals, and all around lived in the future; worrying over things to come and forgetting to take time to see the good things right in front of me. How many days have I spent unhappily thinking that MAYBE something bad Might happen? Or ruined a possible good time with friends regretting a moment in my past? Too many to count, that’s for sure.

I realized that the only way I can change anything in my life, is to be content with what’s happening now. Forget thinking about the future, and don’t spend every waking moment living in the past. We have no guarantees, anything and everything can and most likely will happen, and so what’s the use of planning for a future that will possibly never happen? Every year I make that list, more often than not including the same things, and looking back on those years, I hardly ever got to achieve those mind set goals. Sometimes planning gets in your way of actually doing anything. That’s not to say that I didn’t accomplish anything, but when you actually take time to look into your past, what is the stuff that you remember the most? Sure, there’s heartache, grievances and tragedy; but behind all of that darkness, the things that shine through are the special moments in your day to day life. Staying up all night talking with your best friend, playing a game that you have always loved, the memorable laughter of your group at lunch, the inside jokes, or a simple smile from someone you pass on the street; these are why we have reason to look back.

Then I got to thinking about all the things I missed out on because I was too embarrassed, or it wasn’t practical. When was the last time I had been on a swing? Way back in elementary school, that was one of my favorite activities, I stopped doing that as I grew, but why? Was it really that childish, or was I just worried about what others would think?  So it all comes down to this: Forget everyone else and have fun. Sure, I have tasks that I would like to accomplish in this year, but if it doesn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world. And who knows if missing out on those will lead me down a new, exciting and fun path.

Well that’s all for now, Happy New Year, and Keep on Dreaming. &*)


Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.  ~Norman Vincent Peale


Okay guys, I kind of sorta almost really forgot about the blog. 8*S Oops. Okay well, first of all…… Merry Christmas Eve…. in three minutes….but whatever. I can’t wait! Anyone else out there excited? Oh wait, stupid question, you all are. One of my friends… no wait…. two….if you really count one of them as a friend…(They’re twins) got to celebrate the holiday on Wednesday with their mom and then again tomorrow with their dad. So lucky! I’m so glad to be on break, I swear as soon as teachers hear the words ‘holiday season’ they start thinking of all the tests they can load on us before we go.  Ugg. And then when we get back to school in January, I have to take a bunch of finals. That’s smart isn’t it, let’s quiz the kids on how well we taught them after they have been distracted by gifts and tinsel and wreaths and have forgotten everything they’ve learned in the last semester. Yah so this is why most kids do wonderfully in school.

The week before school got out, three kids in my school got arrested for drug possession.  One of them, was caught because she put pot and this drug that makes you hallucinate into brownies and handed them out to kids…. let’s just say that she is now spending quality time in juvie for the next year. It was her fourth offense. This year. My mom says she’s worried about my class. I wonder why? Oh well, let all the people make their own choices.

Oo! Something good that happened that week was I finally convinced my Creative writing teacher to allow me to use my nano as my final project! I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy, and I really need to write. On another topic, I am currently endeavoring to read Oliver Twist. Alright so its not a bad book; in fact it’s pretty good, but it would be a heck of a lot better if Dickens would stop breaking the fourth wall. It’s so incredibly annoying. I’m all like… dude, come on, get to the point! Now this is not to say that all books that have broken said fourth wall are bad; I’ve read some pretty amazing ones, but when the author goes on rant…. it’s time to stop that style of writing. Let’s just say that I pray for good normal books on Christmas morning. Please please please please. *Gets down on hands and knees and begs for the one I asked for* If I don’t get it, I may die. It’s the last book in this series that I read this summer, and the last book ended with the main character getting framed for murdering the queen and is faced with possible execution. Eeek! Must. Read. Last. Book.

I have to say that I am pretty lucky this year. We have hardly any snow! Yay! One of my friends would kill me if she saw that. She is absolutely stuck on the idea that she is going to get me to go sledding with here. Whatever, sorry to break it to you, but that will not happen. I hate snow. At least I hate going out in it and feeling the icy wetness of it. The view of fresh fallen snow in the morning; untouched by humans, and colored lights peaking through the glittering white…. well there’s nothing like it. No matter how much I explain this to her; she still believes that she can get me to willingly wreck that *sigh*

Well that’s all for now, so until I can post again; Merry Christmas, and keep dreaming &*)   (especially of sugar plums ;*})


“Some people blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think, who raised us?”


So i just got home from drama practice and I have to say that i just really don’t like this teacher. I don’t know, i guess she’s okay, but she just doesn’t listen. You have to do it her way, or no way, you know? It’s so annoying! Adults always say that we don’t listens, but when do they ever listen to us?

Anyway, last night, I just had one of those nights that has you counting down until the day you turn eighteen. I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes, I really hate adults. They just don’t get that we are responsible enough to do things on our on, and they get mad at the fact that your always in your room. Honestly, I can handle them being upset with me, but when they actually have the nerve to order me to stay out in the living room and not go in my room or I’ll get my cell-phone taken away; that is when they really bug me.

What I really love, is my friends. I can come to school all upset and angry, and within ten minutes they’ll have me laughing my head off. I swear, they are awesome. During lunch, I had my camera with me, so we all spent the entire time taking goofy pictures of each other. I have this one of one of the guys jumping on one of the others back in order to tackle him to the ground. I can’t wait to get those printed up! Oh and during math I had four friends in the class and we were all hyper and giggling. Eventually the jocks yelled at us to shut up. The Jocks! Like they have any room to talk. 🙂

In science, (and trust me, this is one of the only times you’ll hear me talk about that class, I hate the subject) we are learning about the Universe and got to see pictures of auroras from other planets. Oh, they are soooooo pretty! Also, there’s an eclipse on December 21, don’t forget to check it out.

Alright,  now I really have to stop procrastinating.  I have a short story to finish, math, and science. So until next time, Keep on dreaming &*)


Yep, Me Again.

“You say crazy like it’s a bad thing”
So, because i have done my homework to the best of my ability……well that is all but learning my lines for our school play, but really, the teacher will live, I have decided to post something else on my new blog.
First off, I suppose that I should tell you a little more about myself. Some of you readers may know me as Rosebud95, Emmy Cullen, knife05, snickers, or Tigie (pronounced Tye-gee) Any of these will work for referencing me in comments.
Next, I love to write. Why is this the first thing that I would mention on a post about me? Well it is because that no matter where I have been in life, writing was there in some form or another; from drawing supper-woman(because she’s awesome) comics and having my mom write in the words I wanted when I was three, to writing full fledged novels now a days. I love expressing my thoughts and feeling through the written word, be it fiction, or not, and I love to hear people’s thought’s on what I have down.
I’m a geek. I’ll admit it strait out. I adore reading, and losing my self to the several million fictional worlds out there. It’s a great stress reliever at the end of the day while having my iPod on full blast. Computers are my thing. I don’t know what I would do without my electronics (ie. iPod, Laptop, cell-phone….ect.)
I like school…. kind of. It really depends on the day, and how my interactions with those around me end. Trust me, that’s not always good, but I have my group of AMAZING friends to help out when things go bad. How many times have I used the word ‘thing’ so far? three I think. My creative writing teacher would have a fit! Oh well, he doesn’t have to know, now does he?
Music. There are no words to describe how I feel about it. In one of my many favorite quotes, there’s something about loving music because as soon as it hits, you feel no pain. This is so true, from old classics that, though they had been forced upon me as a child, bring a homey comfort to any day, to the more modern favorites, I love so many types. At the moment, my two favorite artists are Joe Nichols( Country singer, Hot, great voice!) and Anna Nalick ( Amazing melodies that stay with you, and have helped me through many a tough time.) but there are so many great artist out there with songs that hit home with you in one way or another, that listing them all would take way too long.
I’m addicted to quotes. Not many people know this, but it’s true. I love finding something that directly explains what I’m going through, and knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this way. You will more than likely see some of my faves atop of my posts ( I can’t help it; just have to share these :D)
Another thing (there it is again) that I am obsessive about is smileys. I love them, and their adorable feelings 8*) you’ll see that I use them often.
Most importantly, I am a Christian. I love God for everything he has done in my life, and for those around me. I owe him for everything.
For now, that about covers it, so until next time; Keep Dreaming my friends. &*)

Hello. My first post. Hmm. What should I say? Well I’m here because, well why does anyone blog? I love to write, and i want to be heard. I found this site through some friends on the YWP Nanowrimo site. If you don’t know what that is, I would seriously suggest that you check it out. Remember,  Google is your friend. Anyway, for now, that’s all I have, so until next time, Dream On Friends &*)