Tag Archive: job


My Masochistic Mind


A film is – or should be – more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what’s behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.
Stanley Kubrick

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I have read, in several places, that one way to learn how to plot well, is to dissect the movies you watch. Like my choice in reading materials, often my movie experiences are emotional roller coasters.  What can I say, I’m a masochist at heart. Last night I went on a netflix rampage. I should add here, dear readers, that I usually try to avoid that website at all costs. As much of a time drain that youtube is, at the end of the day, Youtube videos are generally only around four minutes long. Netflix holds movies and entire series at the click of a mouse with no interruptions beside the occasional slow browser. I have an addictive personality guys. Entire weeks can be lost to Netflix. I certainly do not need that right now. 

 

None the less, I willing stepped into the quicksand. I began with Ted Talks. I don’t know if I have mentioned my recent obsession with these, but let me tell you, when I get started on these, it never ends quickly, or without some sort of guilt for not devoting all my time to saving the world or something. Of course I want to save the world. I just don’t know how to do it. Anyway, after I had crawled my way through those like a whipped puppy, I found myself staring of the cliff of the long, dangerous fall, that is a tear-jerk-er Hallmark movie. This one, The Shunning. took place in an Amish community. We followed a girl, Katie, who was about to be wed to the local Bishop. When we first meet Katie, we see her sneaking off to find a hidden guitar, an object that would not please her people. Later, she learns she is adopted, and decides she can’t go through with the wedding. 

 

I became so attached to Katie that I was crying for the last solid thirty minutes of the movie. She was real to me. The movie makers had perfectly kept up that essential suspension of belief. I want my characters to be like that; to be so real, not only to me, but to anyone who may read my work. For the most part, my characters are real to me. They have unique voices, appearances, back stories, thoughts… everything that real people have. I just wonder if that is displayed to those around me.

 

Anyway, I began this cry fest following my walk home in a whirlwind of cotton infested air from my job. We were in the actual pool today, and I spent my two hours with my head stuck in various confined spaces along with mold and multiple, various cleaning supplies. Needless to say, by the end of the night, my head was not feeling so well. Twenty minutes and six ibuprofen later (I generally take Excedrin for I’m all but immune to the healing affects of most headache medicine; thus the upped dosage) I was on my way to dreamland.

 

I had a very interesting dream last night, and it was similar in style to ones I’ve had multiple times before. I was in a building very similar to the church I was born into… I was looking for something, but also I got the feeling that I was running from something else and trying to escape. My main obstacle in doing this however was the slew of stairs that never led the way I thought they were going to and were utterly confusing. At one point I began following a wiener dog up the stark white, wooden stairs, but he led me farther astray than I was when I was alone. I woke up right as I reached the top of the stairs and came to a balcony which overlooked a thirty story building. I felt trapped and realized that the only way down was through the stairs or to jump. My eyes opened to reality before I made this decision. I have no idea what that was about. I’d blame it on the meds and fumes if not for the similarities to other dreams I’ve had.

 

I rolled over and grabbed my phone only to find five new text messages from my Spanish partner asking which vocab words I had on my section of our script. That was a great thought to wake up to. I have a strong, passionate hate for that class, and I didn’t want to begin my Sunday that way. Oh well, it needed to be done.  

 

Now that I’m typing this I’m listening to a selection of John Mayer songs on Youtube while smelling the baked potatoes in the oven for lunch. I don’t want to even think about all the homework I have to do today, but I don’t have a choice. Again, I’m thanking the good Lord that I don’t have school tomorrow.

Through my Eyes

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Well that’s all for now guys. So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)

~ Rose


I don’t know much about creative writing programs. But they’re not telling the truth if they don’t teach, one, that writing is hard work, and, two, that you have to give up a great deal of life, your personal life, to be a writer.
Doris Lessing
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Okay, so it’s not summer yet, for me at least. I still have another week and a half, but as I mentioned yesterday, I have begun training for my summer job. We didn’t meet at the pool yesterday, but at our local recreational center. Personally I find meeting there a bit strange for the center, nestled behind the local middle school, is a know hangout for drug addicts of all kinds. But whatever. I wrote a quick, on the fly poem about the experience:

Six strangers

Thrown together in a room

Forced onto the solitary

Half moon couch.

Just enough space between

So they won’t touch

Still

Too close for comfort

Fiddling awkwardly with

Their pens; trying to listen

To the pair up front

How is it

That soon

They will spend

Nearly everyday

Together?

Honestly, other than the slight awkwardness, it wasn’t that bad. I only somewhat recognized two of them. One, a boy who has worked at the pool for years, and two, a girl in the grade below me. Mostly yesterday we went over the employee Manuel rules such as no smoking, drinking, PDA, eating the food for free, yada yada. Typical stuff. Our uniforms this year will consist of khakis, a lime green polo, and a deep red visor. I feel the need to break out in Christmas songs already. I’m kind of hoping they nix the visors.
I like my managers so far, though they are each others’ opposites. The girl is tall, perky, and a total drama kid (I know because she told me in the interview) so I felt an instant connection there. She seems really nice and open and is probably the one I will go to when I need help. The guy on the other hand is much more mellow. Except for a few quips here and there, he remained pretty much silent.He has the sort of dry sense of humor that I tend to like, but just like in the interview, I feel more apt to talk to the girl. She seems to be more in charge anyway.
There were only five of us there when I first arrived, all girls. The boy showed up a half hour late, and apparently there were four others who just didn’t  come at all. I have a feeling I will get plenty of hours this summer, considering my entire schedule is open. We are guaranteed twenty hours, and obtaining the rest will depend on our own actively searching to sub in for the other employees.
Today, I signed of for the two to four training shift in which we will begin cleaning the concessions side of things. I know that training is necessary, but I find myself wishing that it was already June seventh so I could start the actual job side of things. The two hour clips are merely teasers of what’s to come, and I am more than excited to jump in and get my hands dirty.
Needless to say, I feel like the majority of my social life will come from work. All this time at work will leave little left over for my writing, and I need my writing. I’ve gone without it before, and I do not want to go through that again. Writing in and of itself is work. It’s difficult to come up with appropriate words and actions and characters for a plot, but it’s a work that I truly love to do.
I’m glad that this is Memorial Day weekend because, despite my obvious lack of rest and sanity in the last week, I still have a lot to do, that for the most part I don’t want to. My science teacher extended the due date on those six posters to Tuesday, but I’ve yet to have a chance to even begin working on them. Then I have my Spanish Final Project which the teacher told us of two days ago and wants us to present on Tuesday, that forces us to act like we’re on a cooking show and show people how to make No Bake Cookies while having a memorized script with twenty negative and affirmative commands and twenty five vocabulary words (which is difficult because very few of the vocab words have anything to do with cooking). Between my project partner and I, we have each about a half a page of script to memorize. Plus we have a page of translations she wants done by Tuesday. Then I have about twenty Geometry problems to solve by Wednesday, and three essays for wellness due by Thursday. *sigh* I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done.
On top of this, I still desperately need to plot out my Camp Nano novel. Camp starts in six days and I have no idea how I’m going to manage that on top of everything else. I suppose though, that each time I jump into this train of literary abandon life is crazy, but I somehow always make it through. I mean, real life does not stop just because you want to write; you must make time or go without writing. I want writing to be my career one day, and the only way I can do this is to choose writing. It really is an either or; give it your all, or forget about it.
My friends do not understand this line of thinking. Whenever I respond to one of ‘let’s hangout’ texts with I’m busy writing, they always respond with ‘you’re always writing’. Well of course I’m always writing. The only way to improve at something is to practice a lot. I want to tell them that if I’m writing and I respond to or even notice that they have texted me that they are lucky. Somehow, I don’t feel like they would take that the right way. Seriously though, they should be used to it by now.
Through my Eyes
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Well that’s all for now guys. So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)
~Rose


Natalie Goldberg ~ Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Nothing is that important. Just lie down ~

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Today was nearly unbearably too long, especially after an hour long awards assembly which, when it finally came to a close, had us so tired and downright bored that the class period after that felt like its own personal kind of hell.  Not to mention my last class was going over in extensive detail of all the ways that energy drinks are bad for you. Although, this topic was much more enjoyable then that of two days ago when that featured images of meth addicts and people who had been victims of drunk driving accident. The only redeeming quality of that class is that I sit right next to the guy I like.
There were two bright spots of this day. First, was lunch when my biology teacher dressed up as one of the flying monkeys on Wizard of Oz as was the agreement if we raised enough money for this fundraiser the school held a few weeks ago. He walked through the outdoor commons during lunch surrounded by an entourage of yearbook photographers. Second came during my drama class as we were practicing for our final scenes. My group is doing a modern Cinderella in which two godmothers, one good and one bad, are trying to sway Cindy’s mind on something she has planned. (I’m the evil godmother *smirks*) What made this a bright spot however, was our forcing one of the senors to take our parts, first as Cinderella, and then as both of the godmothers. That kid is hilarious, and I sincerely hope he pursues a career in entertainment.
As for this moment I am preparing to go to job training which starts in a half an hour while simultaneously watching Two and a Half Men and listening to Michael Buble. I’m incredibly nervous for this, but I should get going. I’ll post again tomorrow.
Through my Eyes
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Well that’s all for now, So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)
~Rose

Eric Hoffer: “The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else- we are the busiest people in the world.”

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I feel as though I have not been able to catch my breath today. Even now, as I am typing this up, I am simultaneously researching for my science project and editing, again, my English paper. I skipped my last class in school today (excused by my parents, of course,) leaving at about two o’clock so that I would be able to pick up the paperwork for my new job, and open a bank account which was necessary, due to the pool’s new direct deposit requirement.Grabbing the paperwork was the easiest part of my day, as I was assisted by a kind old lady who highlighted the parts I needed to fill out, and explained some of the more technical details pertaining to taxes and such.

When we called ahead, the bank said that opening a bank account would take only fifteen minutes.Riggggghhhhttttt.Almost three hours later, everyone involved was pretty annoyed about the whole process. When we first got in the bank, we were asked to wait ten minutes for a ladyin training to assist us. I stress this because the time it took was more than partially due to her slowness. About forty-five minutes into our meeting with her, she tells us that my school ID, which works for everything else in the world, would not be accepted her and that I would have to get a State Issued one. Great. Just Great.

So we went to the office where ID and Driver’s Licenses are issued, and were met by a rude, gossipy woman who informed us we would need my birth certificate to get it. So we drove home, shuffled around boxes, found the safe and returned to the offices, paper certifying my birth in tow. When we got back, another rude lady met us and told us that my mom had to have an in state drivers license and a piece of mail addressed to her. This, of course, did not make us happy. Plus my sister had a doctors appointment that she was already late for, so we were left with no choice but to let me stay there, and call in my dad, away from his job, to come show an in state driver’s license. Fifteen zillion trivial questions, and one bad picture later I had my temporary ID and was on my way to finish opening that account. FinishingThat only took another hour.

When I was finally able to go home, I scarfed down a quick sandwich and promptly began working on my mountain of homework, as well as listening/half-watching a live show with Jackson Pearce ( http://jackson-pearce.com/ ) on how she goes about outlining. Upon finishing that I jumped in for a quickie shower, totally fictionalized an interview that I was supposed to give to a person who lived through the sixties (Sorry teacher, I just don’t know anyone that I actually talk to that lived through that period of time) filled out that paperwork, wrote up the paper on said fictionalized interview, continued researching and editing and now typing this. Okay, so blogging should fall pretty low on my list of things to do in a day, but at the moment, it is my only mental reprieve. Lord knows I need it.

~Through My Eyes~

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Well that’s all for now guys, I must be off to bed so I can get up early and do more homework. Yay!

So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)

~Rose

Puppy Pow Wow


All art is exorcism. I paint dreams and visions too; the dreams and visions of my time. Painting is the effort to produce order; order in yourself. There is much chaos in me, much chaos in our time.
Otto Dix

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I don’t have a lot of time today to write a well thought out post. The reason for this lay mainly on the notebook page of things I need to get done this week, most of which is either due tomorrow, or seriously needs to be started tonight; namely, that insanity packed musical screenplay which I was told was due next Thursday has been bumped up. He’s asking for a working script by tomorrow. My gosh. Plus I have to type up another rough draft to this narrative essay for my English class, adding in absolutes and appositives as well as fixing and adding things according to our peer evaluations. On top of this I have seventy five math problems I need to do, five workbook pages and a big vocab list for Spanish, and six posters on the animal kingdoms for biology. Gah.
In other, somewhat unexpected news, the job for the pool just called asking me if I wanted the position. I was like *inward squee* Yes! What makes this unexpected is that they had called me on Saturday telling me that they had already filled it, which was disappointing, but I hadn’t really  thought that I had done well on the interview.
Anyway to supplement this quickie post, I decided to post some of the photos of my and my brother’s dogs which I took yesterday. The Cocker spaniel is named Buster, and my brothers dog, Ginger, is the beagle. Enjoy!
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And for the Through My Eyes portion of today’s post
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Well, that’s all for now guys, So until next time, Keep on Dreaming &*)

“Life isn’t about the destination but the journey that gets us there”
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Guys… I’m not even sure where to begin this post. I am a sincerely bad blogger; I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve visited my little blog ((or more so, the fact that there are still people visiting it after all this time. That is beyond amazing guys <3)) I feel as though I have been simply tripping through life these past several months. Life is going by in a blur, and I have so many great, blogable stories that are just far too outdated to tell now. *sighs* So I guess I will just summarize the last couple of months the best I can.

First off, I was in another play; this one with a much smaller part in a much wider known /musical/ entitled ‘Once upon a Mattress’. I was just in the ensemble, but it was so much fun, and /so/ much work that I was undoubtedly grateful for the role I received.(especially since the guy I like was also in the play) I put so much time and energy into this performance that afterward my day to day life seemed…. as though it was missing a major piece, even as my schedule has been crammed and I feel as though I’m running a mile a minute.
I’ve been working a lot lately on a newish novel which takes a lot of back story writing, research, drowning in depressing music, and slowly scratching of pieces of my soul to envelope my words in. I will post more about this novel in another post (oh looky there, silly little me promising another post. I hope I can hold up to that) but this story truly means a lot to me, and I feel as though I must write it.

I have, somewhat stupidly and quite crazily, volunteered to write the screen play for the historical musical my US history teacher is putting together. I don’t know why I thought I’d have time to do this, or could handle the stress, but it’s all too late now. I’m knee deep and waist high in my own insanity. Way to go Rosey.

I’m in the middle of preparing to for all my finals that’ll be coming up here in the next few weeks. This being said, mostly what I’m doing, aside from studying, is trying to prep my brain for the inevitable mush that it will be turning into soon *nodnod*

In June I will begin my second bout of Camp Nano and be writing my little heart out on said forely mentioned novel. On top of this, I’ve been growing closer to some of my Nano friends, expanding to chatsites, facebook, and the great possibility of a vlogbrothers style youtube collaboration, which should be fun and exciting. We’ll see.

And last, but certainly not least, we have what I was doing today, which was my very first interview for a job at my local pool. I have no idea how that went but I keep replaying every mistake in my head over and over. I stumbled over words, said stupid things that took too long for me to think of, and was shaking through most of the cross examination. Still, I should find out soon whether or not I got the job. I’m quite anxious to see.

Well folks, that’s all for now, so until next time, Keep on dreaming &*)